


Don't Let It End

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Series: OQ Happy Ending Week 2018 [7]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Dreams and Nightmares, Established Relationship, F/M, Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, Mild Language, Suicidal Thoughts, Surprise Ending, Swearing, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-11 08:18:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15311319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: She doesn't want to be here.  She doesn't want to be doing this, listening to these people talking about Robin in past tense platitudes that make her teeth ache.  And she certainly doesn't want the pity that she sees in their eyes.





	Don't Let It End

**Author's Note:**

  * For [outlawqueenbey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/outlawqueenbey/gifts).



> Date Written: 15 July 2018  
> Word Count: 2882  
> Written for: Outlaw Queen Happy Ending Week  
> Prompt: Day 7 - Canon Happy Ending & [this thread](https://twitter.com/ariestess69/status/1018348617776545792)  
> Recipient: outlawqueenbey  
> Summary: She doesn't want to be here. She doesn't want to be doing this, listening to these people talking about Robin in past tense platitudes that make her teeth ache. And she certainly doesn't want the pity that she sees in their eyes.  
> Spoilers: Canon divergent AU from ep 05x 21 "Last Rites," but everything we know about these characters is up for grabs.  
> Warnings: Canon character death, suicide ideation.  
> Website: ShatterStorm Productions – Doggie Duo  
> Link to: http://bdkk.shatterstorm.net/  
> Archive: ShatterStorm Productions & AO3 only…all others ask for permission & we'll see…  
> Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome.
> 
> Author’s Disclaimer: "Once Upon a Time," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Adam Horowitz, Edward Kitsis, Kitsis/Horowitz, and ABC Studios. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "Once Upon a Time," ABC, or any representatives of the actors.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Look, I clearly felt the need for some serious angst, okay? And I got this idea from Hollie and then my muses just ran with it. I regret nothing. Not a single thing. And the title came from one Styx song that seemed to work, but the quoted lyrics are from another that also worked.
> 
> Dedication: My muses, as usual…
> 
> Beta: Not beta'd, as I don't have a regular OQ/DOQ beta yet. But if you see anything that needs correcting, proper concrit goes a long way toward getting it fixed.

_"So stay with me now_  
_The future is ours_  
_And we'll be the ones who go on"_  
\-- Tommy Shaw, "Haven't We Been Here Before"

 

_"You shouldn't be here."_

_She looks up, squinting against the ominous red haze that passes for light in this gods-forsaken place. It's caused a constant low grade migraine that throbs in both temples and presses like an ice pick into her left eye. It takes several long seconds before her brain registers the woman standing before her._

_"M-Marian?" She sucks in a breath, steeling herself for the wrath she's sure is coming. She deserves this. She deserves everything these poor souls feel they need to throw at her._

_"What are you doing here?"_

_Her words give Regina pause, and she stares at Robin's wife curiously. "I--" Her voice cracks alarmingly on that single word, and her blush heats up her face. "I don't understand. We're trying to save Hook."_

_"No, not that. I don't care about that. Why are_ you _here? You and Robin? You left my son behind and unprotected. How could you do that?"_

_"I--"_

_"No! You don't get to speak yet. You need to listen to me and understand what I'm saying. I don't care about you and whether you live or die. You made your bed and you need to lie in it. But you brought_ your _son with you and left mine behind. How did you talk Robin into abandoning Roland like that?" When Regina simply stares at her, unable to speak, she growls. "Answer me!"_

_"Roland is safe with the fairies, Marian. They are the greatest defense he could ha--"_

_"Wrong! He could have his father protecting him. He could have_ you _protecting him. So I ask you again, Your Majesty. Why are you here?"_

_Regina takes a deep breath, an attempt to calm the racing of her heart. "Because I have to do the right thing for Emma. She sacrificed herself to keep me from being taken by the Darkness. She lost her True Love because of the Darkness. The least I can do is…" The realization of her words hits her. "I swear to you, Marian, I will do whatever it takes for Robin to return to Storybrooke and your son. Even if it costs me my life. From one mother to another, I swear it to you."_

_Marian narrows her eyes to study Regina's face for a long moment. Regina wants to squirm at the intense scrutiny, but her mother taught her well as a girl about the negative repercussions for fidgeting of any kind. She licks her lips, the only concession to breaking her mother's rules._

_"Mark my words, Regina. If anything happens to Roland or Robin and I find out you're to blame, I will come after you myself and make sure you die in the slowest and most painful way imaginable. Are we clear?"_

_Regina swallows painfully and nods. "Crystal. Marian, I--"_

 

Regina bolts up to a seated position at the pounding on her door that rips her from the bizarrely blended nightmare memory. Blood rushes in her ears, vertigo nearly forcing her to topple back to the mattress. Within seconds, the burning in throat and eyes registers, bringing with it a crippling grief. She wants to die, wants to go back to the gods-forsaken Underworld because… She sucks in a painful breath. Because _he_ would still be there. She misses him. It hasn't even been a full twenty-four hours yet, but it feels like an eternity of carrying a raw, gaping wound in her chest where her heart and soul once resided and mingled with his. 

The grief over losing Daniel was excruciating, something Regina will never forget for the rest of her life. It changed her in ways that she never wants to experience again. And yet, this loss, this _agony_ of living without her soulmate? A part of her wishes that Zelena hadn't come in when she had, that Hades had followed through on his threats and obliterated her soul just like he did Robin's. She might no longer exist, but at least she wouldn't be stuck with this overwhelming grief and loss.

Another knock at the door, this time more frantic, is followed by a familiar voice. "Mom? Are you in there?"

Another sharp spike jams into her chest and she cries out at the pain. She struggles to get the oxygen in her lungs to answer him. Before she can get her mouth to work to speak, she hears the door open. She wants to be angry at the invasion, but it's Henry, and she can never be that angry with him. But it's not just Henry. Of course, it's not.

"Regina? How are you doing?"

"How do you think I'm doing, Snow? My _soulmate_ just died to save me from complete obliteration. I'm ready to go run a fucking marathon in my most outlandish Evil Queen outfit. Care to join me?"

Her eyes grow round, but Regina doesn't even care. She teeters on the edge of insanity, with a healthy dose of cruel anger pushing her toward the chasm of grief yawning before her. Thoughts of grace and propriety fled her brain the second Robin leapt in front of her to take the blast from the Olympus Crystal. She knows she should be better than this, that Snow is _trying_ , that Robin would want her to be better than this, but Robin's not here and she just don't fucking care anymore. Before she realizes it, a fireball springs to life in her palm.

"Mom!" 

Henry's voice pulls her from the ledge briefly, and she remembers her promises to him about being a better person. The magic splutters and dies out, shame burning hot in her veins as she whispers, "I'm sorry, Henry. I didn't mean--"

"It's all right." Of _course_ , Snow fucking White has to mouth her platitudes.

"If you don't want to make this a double funeral, you'll get the hell out of my face, Snow White."

"I, uh, I can wait downstairs," she stammers, backing out of the bedroom. "Call if you need anything."

*****

She doesn't want to be here. She doesn't want to be doing this, listening to these people talking about Robin in past tense platitudes that make her teeth ache. And she certainly doesn't want the pity that she sees in their eyes. She can't speak, throat closing to a pinprick's width that barely allows oxygen into her lungs. It takes everything in her to rein in her emotions, to keep the bile from rising up through that tiny opening in her throat and choking her. She'd sooner die than allow a single tear to escape her eyes in the presence of these people. And yet, all she wants to do is throw herself on the casket and be lowered into the dirt with her soulmate, buried alive to suffocate and join him in death. She knows just how selfish that sounds, but she finds that she can't even care about it… Until she sees Henry kneeling next to Roland, hugging the boy tightly. He's an orphan now, completely thanks to her. A breeze wafts around her, and she swears she can hear Marian's threat whispering in her ear. It's enough to make her take a step toward the coffin before she realizes what she's doing. She makes a show of adjusting her umbrella, as if the breeze has attempted to pull it from her grip.

They all step forward to place their arrows on the lid of the shiny wooden box where her beloved archer will lie for eternity. From where she stands, front and center, all alone, she can hear the soft words some of them murmur as they line up their arrows. Some stroke the wood reverently, as if getting one last communion with this man they all admired. The men all bob their heads respectfully at her, as would befit their leader's paramour, but not a single one attempts to touch her. 

She braces herself for the inevitability of Snow's embrace as she and Charming place their arrows. She knows exactly how her former step-daughter operates, and she doesn't want or need it, no matter what Snow says. Somehow, the inevitable hug never happens, and she hates herself for feeling slighted. John brings Roland next, a hand on the boy's shoulder. She hasn't seen him or talked to him since it happened, and she feels her heart break at the way John keeps the boy from her, as if blaming her for his orphaned state. Not that she blames the man, of course; she knows better than anyone that she's to blame for Robin's death. Roland won't even look at her, shattering the last pieces of her heart that were stubbornly still unbroken. It takes everything in her to keep the tears and the wretched sob at bay.

Emma and Henry step up to place their arrows next. Emma won't meet her eyes either. Perhaps that's for the best. Both Robin and Hook would still be alive if she'd just fought Emma on taking on the Darkness. These deaths are on her head, on her now-destroyed soul. Henry offers her the final arrow, the reality of her relationship with him allowing her this final honor. _Honor._ There is no honor is burying a man who shouldn't have died in the first place. She swallows heavily and steps forward on legs that appear far steadier than they feel. The blood roars in her ears and she prays for that coffin's upper half to spring open to reveal a smiling Robin, pleased with himself for pulling such a prank on her. But it isn't so.

She counts twelve arrows, all lined up neatly, ready to be placed in the quiver that always rested across his back. Hers is the thirteenth arrow. Many would call it unlucky, but she finds it oddly appropriate. He'd always told her that it was just a number and thirteen fit perfectly in his quiver. She hopes that John will see to it that they're properly transferred into the coffin with Robin. Or perhaps he'll give them to Roland. She's lost any chance to have a say in such matters. Settling her arrow next to Roland's, her gloved fingers brush the polished wood, a shudder passing through her that almost brings her to her knees. Her face crumples briefly and she fears all of her self-control is finally fully eroding away.

Somehow she manages to hold her composure and returns to her place again. As she does, she sees Zelena coming up, unfashionably late and carrying Robin's daughter in her arms. Regina briefly sees red at the sight, but tamps it down. The baby is innocent and perhaps the only bright spot she's got left of Robin at this point. They speak briefly as the others begin to walk away, leaving the two women alone, but she's on autopilot and doubts she'll remember a single word of it. Even Henry leaves her side. Another cruelly chilled and wet breeze wafts over her, carrying the scent of moldy loam and detritus, the scents of death and decay. Her legacy on all the lands: death, decay, betrayal. Why can't she just prostrate herself on Robin's coffin, pierce her own flesh with all thirteen of those arrows, and slowly bleed out as she suffocates under the sodden dirt that buries them?

When Zelena tells her the baby's name, she dies inside. Of course, Zelena feels she's doing right by Robin in naming his daughter after him. Deep down, Regina knows that every single time she hears the little girl's name, it will slice a new cut in the atrophying muscle that is her heart until there's nothing left but a massive gaping, bloody pulp of a mess.

*****

Regina doesn't remember Zelena trying to guide her away from her graveside perch. She doesn't remember Henry joining in on the effort. She only remembers John suddenly at her side, telling her in hushed tones how he and the Merry Men were going to return to the Enchanted Forest and that they were taking Roland with them. It was clear by his tone that this was a non-negotiable situation and a courtesy that he would allow her to say goodbye to the boy. She didn't bother to fight him, not having the strength to show just how weak her attachment to Roland made her.

Eventually, John made his way back toward the diner and the wake they were holding for Robin. She knows she should make an appearance, if only to spend the last of her time with Roland before he, too, is ripped from her life. But she can't move, rooted to the spot as she stares at the flower-and-arrow-covered coffin. The wind and rain kick in harder, and she finds herself struggling to stay on her feet.

It's only as she's completely alone that she allows the tears to fall, mingling with the rain pelting down. She uses a brief bit of magic to poof umbrella, hat, and sunglasses away. If anyone sees her, she can blame her grief-ravaged face on the elements. A particularly strong gust of wind drops her to her knees, and she lets it happen, burying her face in her hands as loss overwhelms her.

She's not sure how long she's there, but assumes that no one comes to lower Robin's coffin into the ground out of deference to her. Not that she cares. She's still fighting the urge to crawl inside and curl up with her soulmate to die. A small part of her wonders if anyone would _truly_ miss her if she did just that. A shudder rolls through the ground beneath her as that thought occupies her mind, but she attributes it to her grief playing tricks on her.

"Please don't kill yourself."

Regina stiffens at those four words, certain it's another trick of her clearly splintered psyche. She shakes her head vigorously, unwilling to entertain the idea that she's completely lost her grasp on reality, and begins to rock in place. Within the next moment, a pair of strong arms surround her, pulling her back into a firm chest. The movement brings the scent of pine and loamy earth to her nostrils, and all she can think of is Robin. She wails louder as she fights and thrashes against whoever is holding her. 

"Regina, stop. Please, love, don't do this."

The tears keep coming, her breath gasping sobs that threaten to choke her. What kind of sick joke is someone playing on her right now? She's being turned now, feels the mud squelching through her nylons.

"Look at me, Regina. This is no trick, no sick joke. It's real. _I'm_ real."

She wants to continue fighting, but she's just so _tired_. If this is merely hallucination, she hopes that Henry will argue for her to get a decent padded room for the rest of her life. Taking a breath that's still too shallow for comfort, she removes her hands to see Robin's face slowly swim into focus.

"R-Robin?" She swallows thickly. "Have I died? Lost my mind?"

He smiles that soft smile that always made her feel like the center of his universe. "Neither, my love. I am truly here."

"No, we just had your funeral. I watched Hades…" She can't finish that sentence.

"When Zelena killed him with the Olympus Crystal, somehow it reversed what he did. All I know is that I saw your face, then _nothing_. And the next thing I knew, I was standing in this white place filled with columns. Hook was pleading with Zeus to give his second chance at life to me, that he was ready to be done with vengeance and outliving those he loved. He wanted me to know my daughter, watch Roland grow up, and spend the rest of my life with you. Zeus agreed."

"You-- You're not going to leave me again?"

"Not if I can help it, no. Zeus assured me that I should live a long time with you, long enough to see grandchildren at the very least."

"Oh, Robin!" she cries, cupping his cheeks as she kisses him practically senseless. He holds her close, and she can feel his heartbeat in his temple, beating in time with her own. "I love you. I love you so much."

"And I you, Regina." He nuzzles her nose with his, tears slipping down his own cheeks. "I've a message for Emma from Hook, but I think I'd like to get you out of this pouring rain first. You'll catch your death of a cold." He laughs when she nods pitifully and shivers. "And then we'll discuss some of that therapy you'd mentioned a while back. You and I have things to deal with, separately and together. I promise that I will love and protect you until I am no longer able. I want to embrace this second chance at life with you and my family. No more anger and hatred and pain if we can help it. We have our whole lives ahead of us now. Are you ready for a new adventure in love with me?"

"Yes, I am. I am more than ready to continue this journey with you, my handsome thief."


End file.
